By: Yanet Vanegas, Ph.D.
Summer break is often seen as a time for kids to relax, recharge, and enjoy some much-needed freedom from school routines. While unstructured time has its benefits, it can also present unique challenges—especially when it comes to emotional regulation. Without the familiar rhythm of the school day, many children struggle with big feelings, increased irritability, impulsivity, or difficulty transitioning between activities. If you’ve found yourself wondering why your usually well-behaved child is suddenly melting down over popsicle colors or refusing to go to camp, you’re not alone.
As a psychologist—and a mom—I’ve seen firsthand how the long, unstructured days of summer can create emotional landmines for young children. But with a little planning and intention, summer doesn’t have to feel like a rollercoaster of chaos. Here’s what we know about emotional regulation and how to support your child through the sunniest (and sometimes stormiest) season of the year.
What Happens to Emotional Regulation Over Summer?
Emotional regulation—the ability to manage one’s feelings, behaviors, and reactions—depends heavily on predictability and structure. During the school year, kids rely on a clear schedule: wake-up time, school, lunch, recess, homework, bedtime. Even if they complain about it, this routine helps anchor their nervous system.
In contrast, summer break often removes many of these anchors. Days can feel long, with irregular bedtimes, less consistent meals, and variable expectations for behavior. This lack of rhythm can dysregulate children, particularly those who are more sensitive, anxious, or have neurodiverse profiles like ADHD or autism.
Signs Your Child May Be Struggling
Increased tantrums or emotional outbursts
Trouble transitioning between activities (e.g., screen time to dinner)
Complaints of boredom paired with refusal to engage in activities
Sleep disturbances
Frequent sibling conflict or defiance
If any of these sound familiar, your child may not be “misbehaving”—they may simply be dysregulated and lacking the scaffolding they need to function at their best.
5 Strategies to Support Regulation During Summer
1. Build a Loose but Predictable Routine
Children don’t need rigid scheduling to thrive, but they do benefit from knowing what’s coming next. Consider a visual schedule with blocks like “morning play,” “outside time,” “snack,” “quiet time,” and “screen time.” Post it somewhere visible and review it together each morning.
Even something as simple as a “first/then” structure (“First we clean up the blocks, then we go outside”) can make transitions smoother.
2. Prioritize Sleep and Nutrition
Late summer nights and irregular mealtimes can wreak havoc on mood and energy. Try to keep wake and bedtimes within an hour of the school-year schedule, especially for younger children. Regular, protein-rich snacks can also help prevent energy crashes and grumpiness.
3. Introduce Calming Rituals
Build in small daily moments for regulation—bubble blowing, water play, reading together in a cozy nook, or doing a simple breathing exercise. These calming activities can become powerful tools for helping kids reset during a chaotic day.
One favorite for younger kids: “Pretend you’re blowing up a big balloon—breathe in through your nose, then blow it up slowly through your mouth.”
4. Use Play to Build Flexibility
Play is children’s natural language—and a great way to strengthen regulation. Games like Red Light, Green Light, Simon Says, or board games that require turn-taking and frustration tolerance can build skills without feeling like “work.”
You can also role-play scenarios with toys to help children rehearse handling disappointment or practicing compromise.
5. Don’t Skip Connection
When kids act out, they often need connection more than correction. Try to spend even 10 minutes of one-on-one time each day doing something your child chooses, with your full attention and without any teaching or correcting. This time acts as an emotional “refill”—helping kids feel seen, safe, and grounded.
When to Seek Extra Support
While many regulation challenges are developmentally normal, persistent difficulties may signal something more. If your child’s mood swings, aggression, anxiety, or impulsivity are interfering with daily life—or if you’re feeling overwhelmed yourself—it may be time to consult a psychologist or pediatric mental health provider.
Final Thoughts
Summer doesn’t have to mean emotional chaos. With a few tweaks to your daily rhythm, intentional moments of connection, and playful structure, you can help your child feel secure and balanced—even when the school bell stops ringing.
So go ahead and enjoy those popsicles, long afternoons, and late sunsets. Just don’t forget: structure is still your secret summer superpower.
